Letting go
by Follow-ur-Shadow
Summary: Warning Character Death !


**Title: Letting go**

**Author: Stacy **

**Series/ Sequel: none**

**Summary: Draco's having a hard time letting go.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not the characters, or the books or the movie. Songs included are Verve Pipe's "The Freshman" and Michelle Branch's "Goodbye to you." which don't belong to me either. **

**Warnings: Character death!! **

**Authors Notes: Hermione and Draco are both in their final year and in an established relationship, also --- indicates a flashback. Hope it's not too confusing. Also i stole a line from home & away ;)**

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Snow fell softly onto the windowpane outside. A solemn face stared at his reflection from the inside of Hogwarts.

Brushing down his suit he glanced outside at the blanket of snow that covered the school grounds. He hated snow so it only seemed fitting that it should snow on her funeral....

**-----------**

"_Draco, come on." She ran through the snow waiting eagerly for him to catch up, "It's gonna melt by the time you get here." _

"_It's cold." He grumbled, taking a few hesitant steps, "I don't like snow."_

_She shook her head laughing at him, "How can anyone hate snow? "_

"_Easily." He shook his boots trying to remove some of the wetness from them, "Where are we going anyway?" _

"_You find out when we get there" She watched him stumble in the snow and smirked, "If we get there." _

"_Well it better be good, I mean I hope we didn't just sneak out of Hogwarts in the middle of the night to go traipsing about in the snow. I'd like to think that we actually had a point." _

"_Haven't you ever wanted to do something just on an impulse... " She stopped turning around to face him, "...something just a little bit immature."_

_He thought about a moment before answering honestly, "Yes...but this isn't exactly what I had in mind." _

_He watched her smile and felt transfixed at how beautiful she looked, with the snow whipping around her body and her hair blowing wildly around her face. Even her glossy red nose, swollen form the cold was a mesmerizing sight. _

"_What are you staring at?" She asked, subconsciously brushing the side of her face. _

_He just shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing." _

_She felt the colour rise in her cheeks but still managed a small smile, it wasn't very often she caught him staring. Taking a few steps towards him in the snow, she leant up kissing his lips softly._

_After a few seconds she regretfully pulled away revealing a confused look on his face, "What was that for?"_

_She smiled as she answered. "Just for being you." _

**-----------**

Draco straightened his tie and took one last look at his reflection.

Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes, trying to swallow the lump forming in his throat. "I can't do this...."

"Yes you can."

His eyes snapped open to see her standing just behind his reflection.

Seeing his confused look she tried to explain, "You didn't think I'd make you go through this alone did you?"

He shook his head trying to blink back the tears. "I can't..."

"You can." She smiled softly, moving forward and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You look nice."

He looked down at the black suit and tie he'd chosen for the service then back to their reflection, "You're not so bad yourself."

She shrugged at the short black dress she was wearing, "Just something I had lying around."

He nodded then suddenly let out and anguished breath, "You know I can't go out there."

"You have to. You can do this."

He turned to face her but she'd already gone.

How could he possibly do this without her?

**-----------**

"_It'll be Christmas soon." She said idly walking through the snow. _

_He nodded as he caught up with her, "I'm glad you decided to stay." _

_She felt him wrap his arms around her as they continued to walk, "I would've missed you."_

_She smiled softly, "I can have Christmas with my family any year, you're more important." _

"_Ever since...." He flinched slightly thinking of how his father had been condemned to Azkaban, "I just don't think I could go back home." _

"_What about you mother?" She felt him tense at and went to apologize, "I'm sorry that was..."_

"_It's okay....We're not close, I doubt she'll miss me." _

_There was a hint of regret in his voice but she decided not to push it, "I wonder how Harry and Ron are going at the burrow?" _

_He stopped suddenly but managed to refrain from making a comment. Not that she could blame him. Ever since Potter and Weasley had found out about them, they hadn't even given him a chance, questioning his motives at every opportunity. _

"_It's not your fault, you tried to be civil." _

_He just shrugged, "I needn't have bothered," _

"_But you tried and that means a lot to me...."_

**-----------**

He made his way down the moving staircases but for once they didn't change on him. It seemed rather ironic how the most unstable thing in this damn school could be so strong when everything else was such a mess.

"They're just stairs, stop being so philosophical."

He saw her standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him.

"I knew you could do this."

"I'm not there yet." He glanced past her to the hall where the service was being held.

"You've come this far. You wouldn't give up now"

"Wouldn't I?" He took a deep breath tying to calm himself, "Do you have any idea what it's going to be like in there?"

"It wasn't your fault."

"Do you think that matters?" He looked at her angrily, "They all blame me, I blame me and Potter and Weasley they'll..."

"Harry and Ron will understand, they all will."

She watched him turn to go back up the stairs, "Please, I need you there..."

"And I need you here!" He turned back around but she was gone....

**-----------**

"_We're nearly there" She said excitedly, "Do you know where we are yet?"_

_He looked around trying to make out his surroundings but it was too dark and the snow was too heavy, "I haven't a clue." _

"_You're hopeless," She laughed at the bewildered look on his face, " Doesn't it look at least slightly familiar?" _

_He took another good look around then stopped suddenly. They seemed to have stumbled onto a rather large clearing, which was odd because Hogwarts didn't have any clearings except for the Qudditch pitch, but that was on the other side of the school. _

"_Granger..." _

_She hadn't seemed to notice him stop, and had kept walking._

"_Hermione!"_

_As she turned around he felt his heart stop as the snow gave way beneath her, they weren't in clearing they were on top of the lake..._

**-----------**

He should've stopped her, he should've insisted to know where they were going. There were so many things he could've done...

"It was an accident, no one could've foreseen the consequences."

Draco nodded as he moved past Dumbledore who was standing at the entrance to the door. "Yes Sir." Even as the words left his mouth he didn't believe them. This was his fault.

Dumbledore gave him a sympathetic look but quickly called after him, "Be sure to be seated up the front with the Gryffindor's Draco, you were just as much part of her family as they were."

His eyes widened slightly at the suggestion, "With all due respect Sir I don't think...."

"This service is about saying goodbye not about blame."

Draco tried to ignore the nauseas feeling in the pit of his stomach. He shouldn't even be here, none of them should be...

"It was my fault...."

Dumbledore shook his head slowly, "You risked your life to try and save her, they will understand."

**-----------**

_He stood frozen to spot unable to move until the adrenaline finally kicked in. He couldn't just let her drown, so pulling off his boots he ran across the lake, not caring whether the ice broke under his weight. When he finally came to the place she'd fallen there was no sigh of her so without thinking he threw of his jacket and dove into the freezing waters._

**-----------**

As he moved into the hall he noticed how many people had gathered and was surprised when no one stopped to glare or throw curses at him.

"See it's not that bad."

He saw her coming through the crowd and a ghost of a smile played on his lips, "That's easy for you to say..."

"Blaming yourself won't change anything."

"I don't care...."

"Don't care about what?" Harry looked at him as if he'd gone completely crazy.

Draco glanced towards where Hermione had been standing then back at Potter, "Nothing...."

An awkward silence passed between them before Harry spoke, "So...How are you?"

Draco just glared at him, "You don't have to fake being nice just because...."

"I wasn't...."He quickly cut in, "I just thought...you could use a friend"

Draco snorted slightly, "I don't need your sympathy"

"That's not what I'm offering," Harry looked at him coldly, "As much as we tried to discourage it, Ron and I know you cared for her. What happened wasn't your fault and we know you tried so when you're ready there's a spot at our table waiting for you."

Draco nodded, feeling as if a small weight had been lifted from his shoulders, "Thank you."

It was Harry's turn to nod as they both made their way back to the Gryffindor table.

**-----------**

_I wish you could just try and get along," She joined him in the library setting her books down on the table._

"_Why should I? If he can't accept this, then tough. I don't see why we always have to play this around him all the time." He picked up a book annoyed. _

_She let out a frustrated sigh as she sat down, "We do not 'play this' around him."_

"_Really?" He looked at her annoyed, "Then how come we kept this a secret for so long? Or why is it every time he needs to talk to you about what a huge mistake your making you go rushing off to listen?" _

"_Look....." She shut his book agitated, "I love you Draco, but Harry will always be an important part of my life and......" She stopped suddenly, wondering why he was staring at her, "What?"_

"_You love me?" _

_She flushed realizing what she'd just said. "I didn't mean....I just...."_

"_Hermione..." He said cutting off her rambling, "Do you love me?" _

_They both sat frozen for what felt like eternity before she finally answered, _

"_Yes" _

**-----------**

"It's time to say goodbye."

"Not yet." Draco leant against the wall outside trying to catch his breath. The service hadn't started yet but he'd needed to get out. It felt like Potter and Weasley were trying to suffocate him. All their nice gestures were starting to get on his nerves.

"They're hurting as well."

"I know..." He took in a deep breath, "I just can't deal with them now."

"It'll get easier, I promise."

He closed his eyes trying to keep his voice steady, "When...?"

"Every day."

He gave a bitter laugh, "I think you have a problem with your theory because if anything it hurts more now."

"It'll take time but soon you'll start to forget. At first just be the little things and then one day you'll wake up and I won't be the first thing you think about anymore. "

He shook his head forcefully, "I'll never forget."

"It's part of moving on," She paused for a moment as if remembering something, "It's time for you to go."

"Already....?"

She nodded, "They want to start."

**-----------**

"_I'm sorry." Dumbledore hung his head regretfully as Madam Pomfrey wearily entered the room. They'd been too late and unable to revive her. _

"_No." Draco looked at them both with pleading eyes, she couldn't be dead._

_Madam Pomfrey just shook her head full or remorse, "Her body was too cold, and it just shut down. There was nothing we could do." _

Draco tried to focus on what was going on around him. He was vaguely aware as Harry moved to give his eulogy, then he felt her in the empty space beside him.

**-----------**

"I'm here."

He nodded his thanks and turned back towards the service.

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_We've tried to wash our hands of all of this  
We never talk of our lacking relationships  
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor  
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say_

_I can't be held responsible  
'Cause she was touching her face  
I won't be held responsible  
She fell in love in the first place_

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After the service Draco fled outside. He didn't care that it was dark or that it was snowing heavily, he just had to find her.

"I thought you didn't like snow."

"I thought you'd left." He turned to find her ever sitting ever faithfully on a rock behind him.

"Is that why you're out here?"

He didn't say anything, instead stared at the ice swirling around his feet.

She looked at him concerned. "Will you be okay?"

He shook his head, "I can't do this without you."

"Close your eyes." She moved to stand in front of him.

"This is goodbye isn't it?"

She nodded, "It has to be."

"Forever?" He asked, not daring to open his eyes.

"Nothing lasts forever."

He felt a sudden warmth spread through his body, but when he opened his eyes she was gone.

**-----------**

The End.

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